You ever been so used to pain that you find it hard to hope? Every coping strategy you try is losing its power to hold your wavering emotions together? It seems like you’re trying EVERY POSSIBLE THING to keep your mind on anything and everything…but your own death. But even that at times soothes you. Its as if thinking of dying helps you to live and at the same time it persuades you of the “peace of death.”
You say in your heart - “There has to be better for me somewhere”
When I was young I had a vision board in my mind about how my life will be (like most of us). Everything I ever wanted to accomplish and how I would finally experience the mystery of joy and peace was wrapped in my hope — which is what borderline kept me alive.
Hope sometimes presents itself (in our minds) as a fictional character — a superhero. Its like believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the Tooth Fairy. When your young its easy to believe because you haven’t been barred by disappointments. Yet, as you get older you begin to wonder if hope is worth hoping for? If joy is real. If peace is a fictional character. Or if life is just full of suffering and disappointments.
As I get older I am realizing that hope and joy are choices and they are possible to attain. I just must consistently and daily make the decision to choose them no matter what life throws at me.
See, our lives are valuable. Hope, joy, peace, and unadulterated love is possible; but at times that doesn’t seem real. At times it feels as though we were sent here to suffer more than we smile.
But you must choose everyday and in every situation to look at your problems as hurdles you can OVERCOME.
As we train ourselves to be overcomers, problem solvers, and worthy of joy, peace, and love I believe that we all would see that our lives are not confined by our circumstances.
I repeat: OUR LIVES ARE NOT CONFINED BY OUR CIRCUMSTANCES.
Psalms 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for You are with me:
Your rod and Your staff comfort me.
Love, peace, and joy
A Beautiful Weirdo
